School. Home. Bath. Study. Dinner. Com. TV soon.
I judges people by the impression they gave me. Doesn't mean you know them personally, you will know what exactly is going on in her mind. However the more closer you are with her, the more you don't know what she is thinking. Perfect? No one in this world is perfect. Impression determine whether I can accept you as friend. It is a right to choose my friend.Before you know me, you should know that vulgarities are already part of my life. It express feeling. Maybe I am what you called uncouth? This marks the difference between 'upper class people' and 'lower class people.' I doesn't belong to the upper one, neither do I desire to be.
Friend is something I never know. It's not in my dictionary. Even more I can't accept one that "say" about me when they didn't even get the fact right. Whatever it is, after all it is my choice to choose my circle of people I want to mix with. What I mean that I have load of friends is I don't need someone that I don't like to be my friend. Since I don't even like her, why must I be two-faced and appeared to be okay with her? I don't need to pretend. I don't even need to have such a friend who is two-faced. I'm quite straightforward. I said whatever comes out into my mind. I don't care you friend with whoever, it is your choice anyway. I am not a coward so I dare to swear or comment about whoever I don't like. That is the impression they gave me. If they are unhappy about what I said, approach me. I dare to say they also comment about me, just that it is in the dark. What a coward! At least what I want to say, I said it right into their face. They will also meet one out there soon after they leave the sheltered shell under their parents. They are not related to me so I don't see a need to respect them or care whether their pride is badly hurt. I am a sadist. Emptiness filled in me. People hurt me even if I do nothing. This is life.
No trust. No matter how close we appeared to be, it doesn't seem to be. To whoever I talk, even to my closer one, I will retaliate. This is exactly what I am. This is me. As days go by, you know more about me 'personally'. It is your choice whether you want to continue our friendship. If you don't want, just let me know. I will leave the friendship. Seriously, do you even care about me? No. You are just treating me as nothing, not even as a friend. All these are just a label. A invisible wall that separate us. When there's a clique outing, where are Adeline and me? There won't be us. I know you would say that even if you asked me, I won't want to go. I don't want to put in a spot, cause I know she meant more to you than me. Even if we go, it is weird. I know you all rather her to go. In order not to have any further conflicts, I had decided I leave. Anyway, in the first place, I don't feel to be belong in the clique. It is the right choice.
Don't ask me to change. I don't want to be someone that is not me. I want to be myself. If you can't accept me for who I am, then our friendship end.